


OHEMGEEgle

by mitspeiler



Series: Homeglestuck [2]
Category: Homestuck
Genre: I might be evil, Other
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-02-21
Updated: 2014-02-21
Packaged: 2018-01-13 06:23:41
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,412
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1215931
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mitspeiler/pseuds/mitspeiler
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Roxy searches for love on Omegle.  I might be a bastard.</p>
            </blockquote>





	OHEMGEEgle

**Author's Note:**

  * For [rezi](https://archiveofourown.org/users/rezi/gifts), [Lordlyhour](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lordlyhour/gifts).



Take One:

You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!

You both like **love.**

**You:** hiiiiiii

**Stranger:** hi

**You:** *wonk*

**You:** *wink

**Stranger:** :)

**You:** sroory im a lil tipsy rignt now lool

**You:** but im cool to talk :D

**Stranger:** lol

**Stranger:** go to bed

**Stranger:** :P

**You:** you don't know where I am it might not be bedtinme yet :p

**You:** *bedtime

**Stranger:** omg

**You:** ???

**Stranger:** so why are u here

**You:** Pffffffft what's it say up there? lookin for lovin genis

**You:** *genus

**You:** **genius

**You:** ***geinous

**You:** dammit I was right the secownd time

**Stranger:** hhahha

**You:** like fuckin

**Stranger:** typoooooooooo

**You:** i mena not that looll

**Stranger:** ok

**You:** but it's just

**You:** fucken sucks you knwo?

**Stranger:** i knoww

**You:** no one in my group of friends is inbto me and theyur all so hawt

**You:** the boys i mena

**You:** *mean

**You:** *their

Stranger has disconnected.

**You:** fuckr

**You:** *fucker

 

Take Two:

You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!

You both like **love**.

**Stranger:** hi

**You:** lets cut to the chase doe you have a peins?

**You:** *penis

**Stranger:** no

**You:** tumut

You have disconnected.

 

Take Three:

You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!

You both like **love.**

**Stranger:** hi

**You:** no fucken fair my guy frend saif there was only teem boys on here and i keep gettin girls

**You:** why wont no oen love mwe?

**You:** look at all the namidas

**Stranger:** im 16 m

**You:** they oare on the floore

You: *are

You: *floor

**You:** O

**You:** M

**You:** G

**Stranger:** ._.

**You:** omgomgomgomgomg

**You:** I have not seen a boys in yeard!

You: *years

**You:** im 16 two

**You:** *too

**You:** sry for my spellng im a lil tipsy

**You:** *spelling

**Stranger:** youve been drinking?

**You:** *years

**You:** *le sign*

**You:** yah

**You:** there's not much else to do around here ya know?

**Stranger:** ohh.

**You:** all the locals are like fucken chess peices

**Stranger:** well im ethan. you?

**You:** i mean their nice and all but their borin and none of them are guys opr suitable age

You: *they’re

**You:** *of

**You:** im roxy :D

**Stranger:** nice to meet you roxy :)

**You:** I just need someoen to complaint o for a lil bit

**Stranger:** well let er rip il listen lol

**You:** then mayebe whe can o other things *wonk*

**You:** *wink*

**You:** actually i like the wonk better

**You:** like me signature

**You:** anyways

**Stranger:** lol

**You:** I had a cursh on a friend mof mine

**You:** he

**You:** 's

**You:** grr

**You:** *he's like totally hot

**You:** but my girl friend Janey in Washington was totalyu into hine

**Stranger:** 1-10

You: *totally

**You:** *him

**You:** ELEVEN

**Stranger:** ahhh i see

**You:** so bueing the bestest friend ever i was all 'janey you get all up in that'

**Stranger:** popular type? or the odd one out who looks good

**You:** the seconde definitely hahaha

**You:** he taloks leik its the 1920s cuz he was homnschooled by his granma

**You:** oh wow thatr was so bad let's pretend i fixed it to save time lol

**Stranger:** xad

**You:** and he loves movies

**You:** like all of them

**Stranger:** i was homeschooled too.

**You:** he wouldlove a fuckin blank screen if you gave it a title

**You:** okay yeah but not by an hundred year old crazy survivalist right?

**Stranger:** i just gotta say this . this is the best omegle chat ive ever had

**You:** awwwwww

**You:** so swweet

**You:** anyways this guy

**You:** i let janey have hime because I have my eyes on the prize

**You:** my other internet friend in texas

**You:** if jake is an eleven tehn Dirk is a fuckin non-Cardinal number

**You:** wihch is like an oerdr of magnitudes bigger than any possible number btw

**You:** see im smart just drnuk

**You:** still theer?

**Stranger:** for being drunk you have a wide vocabulary

**Stranger:** i aplaud that

**You:** yah i siad i was smrat hahaah

**Stranger:** :P continue

**You:** okay *wonk*

**You:** #onpurpose

**You:** so dirk though is like a fuckin genius

**Stranger:** lol

**You:** builds robots an shit on his spare time

**You:** hes like not even a readl guy but like a fuckin comic book charcter

**You:** but in real life

**You:** so estra hort

**You:** *extra-hot

**You:** like tapatio sauce

**Stranger:** lol

**You:** and i tell him hows i feels

**You:** and

**You:** guesssssssss

**You:** cmon guess! :D

**Stranger:** im guessing hes either gay, in a relationship, or just flat out rejected

**You:** he's like catastrphically gay bor!

**You:** *bro

**Stranger:** nailed it

**You:** I'm not even gonna try to spell catastrophically now lol

**You:** oh shit I got it right XD

**Stranger:** xD

**You:** but the worst is yet to come

**Stranger:** ooo what happened

**You:** see all us internet friends know each other

**Stranger:** ok

**You:** so i know janey and jake and dirk and theny know each other etc

**You:** wer'e like a circle

**You:** *we're

**Stranger:** yea

**You:** and Dirk being gay and all hasa crush on Jake

**Stranger:** xD

**You:** naw he's too 'cool' to have a crush, he'd just say he awnts to tap that

**You:** but it's totally a crush

You: *wants

**Stranger:** lol

**You:** and Janey being a shy lil girly girl was too scared to tell Jake anythin

**You:** and somehow she gto all turned a round and told him about dirk likin him

**You:** and it truns out jake is like fuckin pansexual or soem shit

**Stranger:** its like a soap opera

**You:** *turns

**You:** *some

**You:** hehehe yeah

**Stranger:** pansexual is where you dont care about gender at al. love is love, etc

**Stranger:** all**

You: I think so yeah

**You:** but yeah now Jake and Dirk are goin out and us girsl are just sittin on the sidelindes twiddlin our thumbs

**You:** *sidelines

**Stranger:** well i guess that sucks. in both the literal and figurative term xD

**You:** omg so inappropriate lol

**Stranger:** but funny lol

**You:** except i ben flirtin with janey's dad he seems real into it

**Stranger:** that seem inapropriate lol

**You:** well it just happend okay? i was locked in a towrer by this dumb alien bitrxch

**You:** *bitch

**You:** an he comes in to rescue me or some shit

**You:** oh god i should go back a lil bit uyo must be confused

**You:** im from the futre

**Stranger:** okay on a scale of one to haselhoff how drunk are you

**You:** silly buoiy alcohol doesn't caues hallucinations *pinches cheeks*

**You:** it's totllay real!

**Stranger:** im pretty sure if theres enough it can :p

**You:** if I had tht much i'd be ded :P

**Stranger:** lol

**You:** anyways iunno Janeys flirtin with my dad or sumthin

**Stranger:** ok

**You:** he caleld her hot and now shes all hotnbotherred

**You:** but shes got bgiger problmens

**Stranger:** what kind?

**You:** well shes been brainwashed to obey the evil alien epmress that kidnapped me and killed jake with a fork

**You:** and some other gut i didnt knwo

**You:** *didn't

**You:** *know

**Stranger:** sounds bad. you sure it wasent a rusty spoon?

**You:** *guy

**You:** well it was technically a pitchfork so there weasnt' no mistaking it

**Stranger:** ahhh

**Stranger:** 1: either you have a great imagination and i aplaud you for making this story or 2: god damn no wonder you're drunk

**Stranger:** i really hope its number 2

**You:** and now her daughter freom another universe is holding the planet hosage to spakw a race of alien trolls and reestablish ther empire that was wiped out by a time trabeling deamon or some shit iunno i sopped paying attenrtion at that point to look at jane's dad's ass

**You:** oh you're so sweet believin me :D

**Stranger:** :P ive heard more farfetched

**You:** oh yeah? leik the one about the kid with the magic wanhd

**You:** who killed his lesbian friend but she came back as a vapmyre and killed him wiht a chainsaw?

**Stranger:** ive heard like twelve of those

**Stranger:** minus the chainsaw vampire

**You:** okay good cuz i had to do a oubletake when she told me that shit

**Stranger:** lol

**Stranger:** so what else happened?

**You:** okay its been cool taklin to you ethan bu t the wrold is a bout to end

**You:** all the wrolds actually forever and all tiem

**Stranger:** welp. that sucks

**Stranger:** i woulda liked to hear more :/

**You:** byeeee~!

You have disconnected.

 

**Author's Note:**

> I felt a little bad the dude was really into it :/  
> I came clean and gave him the link to Homestuck. Hopefully he will understand lol  
> I am a total newb and type while looking at my keyboard. Just mock me already Polyfandrous we know you want to. To make as many mistakes as I did, I tried typing as fast as possible _without_ looking, and also fighting my instinctual self-correction tooth and nail. the result doesn't quite match Roxy's quirk but it's more in the spirit to make honest mistakes then fabricating accurate ones.  
>  Formatting troubles, potentially due to divine punishment @_@ hence, it looks different from the other one. Bluh  
> Edit: Formatting fixed.


End file.
